In fast-paced industries like tech, finance, and healthcare, the demand for top talent is through the roof. But here’s the ugly truth: most HR teams and hiring managers are clueless. They’re stuck in a time warp, using stagnant, brain-dead hiring practices that make it impossible to find the right people. Unrealistic experience demands, copy-paste job postings, and moronic “vibe checks” are turning talent acquisition into a disaster.
Stop Asking for Unicorns
Newsflash: you can’t demand 10 years of experience in a field that didn’t exist three years ago. Take prompt engineering - only a handful of nerds had access to large language models three years back. Yet, some HR genius posts a job asking for a decade of expertise. It’s like asking for a grizzled veteran of TikTok wars when the app’s barely been around for five. Or imagine a crypto CMO gig requiring 15 years in Web3 - mate, Web3 wasn’t even a buzzword that long ago.
This isn’t just dumb - it’s a talent repellent. You’re scaring off people who could kill it in the role because they don’t have your imaginary resume. Technology moves at warp speed; your hiring criteria are still on a floppy disk.
Case in Point:
Picture this: a company posts for a “Senior Blockchain Developer” with “10+ years in Ethereum smart contracts.” Ethereum launched in 2015. It’s 2023. Do the math - nobody’s got that kind of mileage unless they invented the damn thing. Meanwhile, a sharp dev with three years of hardcore blockchain experience gets ignored. Smart move.
The Fix:
Ditch the obsession with years. Focus on skills and hunger. A candidate with three years in a related field who can adapt fast beats a fossil with a decade of irrelevant experience. Look for problem-solvers who learn on the fly, not resume-padding dinosaurs.
Your Copy-Paste Is a Talent Black Hole
Ever read a job posting and think, “What the hell is this even for?” That’s because it’s a copy-paste job from some HR template. “Must have strong communication skills.” “Team player.” Blah, blah, blah. It’s meaningless noise. These generic requirements don’t tell candidates anything about the role or why your company isn’t just another faceless corp. Worse, they bore the hell out of qualified people who want a gig that actually fits their skills.
Take software engineering postings: half of them demand “problem-solving skills” without mentioning the tech stack or what you’re building. Are you hiring a coder or a therapist? No wonder you’re fishing in an empty talent pool.
Case in Point:
A friend applied for a “Growth Marketing Lead” role. The posting? A wall of vague crap: “creative thinker,” “data-driven,” “collaborative.” No mention of the industry, tools, or goals. He’s a growth hacker who’s tripled revenue for startups, but he passed - why waste time on a company that can’t even say what it needs?
The Fix:
Write job descriptions that mean something. Be specific: “Must know SQL and Python for data pipeline optimization” or “Experience scaling SaaS user acquisition with zero budget.” Tell candidates what makes your role different. They’re not here to guess - they’re here to work. Stop thinking
“Vibe Checks” and Agenda Boxes: Stop Hiring for Feelings
This is where it gets really stupid. Companies reject absolute rockstars because they don’t pass the “vibe check.” Skilled growth hackers? Often sarcastic pricks (like yours truly) - it’s how their brains work. Top-tier engineers? A chunk of them are on the spectrum, hyper-focused, and don’t give a damn about your team happy hour. That’s not an insult - it’s what makes them exceptional. But no, some HR clown decides they’re “toxic” because they didn’t gush over a team they’ve never met.
I applied for a gig once. One question: “Why do you want to work with our team?” How should I know? I haven’t met them! Maybe they suck. No reply, of course - probably failed the “vibe” test. Meanwhile, agenda boxes - like diversity quotas over skills - screw companies even harder. Hiring for optics instead of competence is a one-way ticket to mediocrity.
Case in Point:
Imagine a company needs a lead dev to fix a crashing app. They pass on a quiet genius who’s solved worse because he didn’t “fit the culture.” Instead, they hire a chatty mediocrity who tanks the project but nails the water cooler banter. Congrats, you played yourself.
The Fix:
Quit hiring for vibes. Skills matter, not whether someone’s your drinking buddy. Use blind resume screening and standardized interviews to cut the bias. And ditch dumb questions like “Why do you love our team?” before they’ve even seen the damn place. Focus on what they can do, not how they make you feel. In fact - I dare you to ask your hiring team (agency or whoever you outsourced one of the most essential jobs for your company...) to show you ALL resumes they got and compare those against those that they actually showed you as "pre-screened."
Do you want to bet that there are a couple of candidates they discarded who are much better than the ones they showed you?
Your HR Is a Dinosaur - Evolve or Die
Hiring in fast-paced industries is a nightmare because HR and hiring managers are asleep at the wheel. They slowly take over the whole business, and no one notices it. Unrealistic experience demands chase away talent. Generic postings bore them to death. And “vibe checks” reject the weirdos who’d actually save your ass. The talent pool isn’t the problem - you are.
Your hiring practices slowly kill your business!
Want to fix it? Focus on skills over years, write job postings that don’t suck, and hire for results, not feelings. Your company’s drowning in a talent crisis, and it’s on you to pull your head out of the sand. Get it together - your survival’s on the line.
